itsmechloemay

This year has been one of the most chaotic, life changing and flabbergasting years for me.

So much has changed within such a short period of time and I can hardly believe that 2017 will come to an end in just a few weeks time.

It's fair to say I'm definitely not the same person as I was when I kissed goodbye to 2016.

I lost my first love and my heart got broken incredibly bad (still is NGL) BUT I've learnt from my mistakes and although I'll never not love him or forget what we had I finally came to terms with the fact we aren't together anymore and am ready to spend a non heartbroken life from here on out.

I started this year without a family, I was in and out of care, sofa surfing on a ton of friends sofas and living in my moms old house without any money, heating, electricity etc..

In March I was then moved into another supported lodgings placement which is basically foster care for those of 17+ and it offers you more of an independent route.

I kind of accepted that I wouldn't have a connection with my family again and although it broke my heart I remembered my Nana always told me 'Que Sera Sera; Whatever Will Be Will Be'.

It was the song we used to sing every time we saw each other when she was alive and even now I can picture us doing so.

Just over a month had passed since being at my new placement and me and my First Love had broke up. I went into a rebellious teenager; I skipped college, I was angry constantly and broke down a lot. 

1. On April 16th 2017 me and Jade had went to see one of her friends in a little village not too far from our own. I remembered the street but I couldn't recall where from. It was only when they'd asked my name and my Auntie had walked in and gave me a hug that I remembered. I remember how when we stopped hugging she saw the black lipstick and told me i looked like a witch haha. 5 minutes later my Dad ran up the street and me towards him and we hugged so tight I thought I might die. It was honestly one of those moments you would see in a movie and I could only wish I got it on camera but nether the less it's in my heart forever.

That same day she pulled me out of care, I mean it took a while but my social worker agreed to it and I was permanently placed there.

This year I'll be celebrating my first Christmas with my family since I was 10.

It might not be with my sisters and mother but I think we all know my true family is with my Dad, Auntie and Cousins.

I couldn't be more thankful to have these people in my life and will forever be grateful for how much they've changed my life for the better.

They truly have saved my life.