itsmechloemay

Hello Lovelies

Hope you are well.

Today's post is a book review on the amazing book 'Before I Die' by Jenny Downham.

Tessa is 16 and has a terminal cancer, leukaemia. She's been battling it for 4 years and in order to fully appreciate the last few months of her life she undergoes treatment. Tessa makes a list of things she wants to do before she dies (hence the title) as a way of coping with a death that is certain and soon.

The list consists of many, many things  including sex, drugs and  knowing she won't have to endure the consequences, criminal behaviour.Tessa rushes head long into the experiences with her best friend Zoey by her side to help. We only know what's on the list as Tessa experiences them, and they change as she becomes sicker. What she discovers is that both life and death are more complex and luminous than she ever realised.

It's not like any other sentimental teen 'sickie' book. She's not in denial and she doesn't want any medical attention. Tessa refuses chemo therapy so all the doctors could do was monitor the progression and keep her out of pain with multiple vitamins and pain killers.

Like almost every other teen book Tessa falls in love, but it's not a relationship you fall in love with and you wish you had.

Zoey also falls pregnant unexpectedly (this was a huge shocker for me) which highlights the life circle.

The last few pages of the novel are truly heart-wrenching as they focus on grief and panic of her family as they experience the last few moments with her. It makes you feel like your sat at her bedside whilst she's dying because there's that much detail.  This vision is a rare fanciful moment focusing primarily on the moment-to-moment impressions of living and dying.

When we die the majority of us will be disappointed that we never got to go to disneyland or that we weren't million-aires. When we do die, as everyone will one day, we should be as lucky as Tessa to be allowed a death that is comfortable, meaningful and surrounded by the love of friends and family. Tessa's regret, ultimately, is not that for those things she hasn't tasted or seen but a simple plea of "I don't want to be dead, I haven't been loved this way for long enough".

This book is by far one of my favourite books and I wish I could re-read it a million times without knowing what was going to happen so can I can have the same excitement, shock and 'OMG WHAT!!!?' experience as I did the first time. I highly recommend this book to all of you guys aged 12+!!